Friday, December 31, 2010

State of illusion...

What if it's not meant to end ? Not this way atleast,
what if it's not meant to start ? Not this way i think,
what if things were meant to change ? Should I wait ?
What if things would never change ? Should I move on ?

What if I made a mistake ?
What if everything turns upside down, inside out, forward backward ?
What if there's no tomorrow ?
What if everything, everyone stops ? Even me one day...

What if I lost the battle ?
What if I lose everything I have ?
What if and what ifs, always crowding our lives,
but in reality, what ifs dont exist.

It's an illusion, a trance of delusion,
a state of empty conclusions,
more than anything, an otherwise foolish solution,
incarcerating you, causing mental explosion.

Inextricably caught, in it's claws,
running in a loop without a sane cause,
scared of life, scared of death, scared of everything that exists,
living in fear, killing the rest of you while the time remains.

And what if I don't die, and what if I live ?
I'd have wasted my time, in fear that I'd die,
a vicious circle, a cycle of life,
a vicious circle, this universe provides.

And lost without identity, a zombie in paradise,
and lost without feelings, waiting for the end to arrive,
and what will be will be, que sera sera,
and dancing life will one day melt into the era.

Thursday, December 30, 2010


Standing without a soul, they stand tall alone,
naked, bland, crooked, preponderant silhouettes,
stretching their arms, etched against the tempestuous sky,
rendered leafless, void of foliage,
standing without a soul, they stand tall alone.

Swaying hither and thither, left clueless without their trusted leaves,
appearing lost like ants, when you disrupt their chain,
no longer complacent, no longer haughty,
stuck inextricably, waiting for winter to get over,
standing without a soul, they still stand tall alone.

I look at them, some stare back tenaciously,
as if I'm the enemy, and they all are in cahoots (against me),
some expostulate, they don't like the fall,
it renders them shambolic in nature, acrimonious and all,
standing without a soul, they are standing tall alone.

The diabolically sibilant wind, scraping those that are diffident,
fall amidst those standing tall, contorted, bruised, appear so small,
they've been defeated, they have given up,
they surrender against the paroxysmal season,
standing without a soul, some still stand tall alone.

 And then the seasons change, and then the seasons change,
all that was taken away, is given back to the same,
conspicuous changes, breath of fresh air,
lively leaves, once again surround the trees,
a perennial cycle, one of nature's many conundrums,
hints us intermittently about life and lifeless stuff.

P.S. : This poem refers to the state of trees personified in the "Fall" season followed by the "Winter" season, how once lively trees are rendered leafless gradually upon the onset of fall and, by winter they just stand there naked, without leaves as if exhibiting the feelings that I've mentioned here.

Thursday, December 23, 2010


You looked just the same, after all these years,
you felt really warm, am I going sane ?
That same ruffled hairdo, that mysterious look,
that love in your eyes, I felt it all.

I was flabbergasted, was it really true,
you were there, standing right in front of me,
I felt strange, I didn't know what to say,
I'd broken our friendship, was I the one to be blamed ?

I didn't love you, but I really wanted you there,
I really wanted a friend, who supported my every affair,
and now we meet, like this, so weird,
my inner self, scraping every bit, to talk to you.

I never felt love for you, still don't feel love,but felt different,
at your mere sight, I felt warmth oozing out of me,
I felt a familiarity, a benign feeling,
after all these years, what's happening here ?

But how can it be true, I question myself,
how can I feel normal for you, all of a sudden ?
How, in a split second, I made you my own,
when I was the one, who had you disowned.

You looked at me, as if to tell me something,
but you leave without uttering a word,
I could see the pain in your eyes, which wasn't unusual,
but this time, this time something was different.

I wanted you to stay, to tell me what was wrong,
I wanted to help you, like always I wanted you to stay strong,
but there prevailed, an awkwardness amidst us,
so near we were, and yet were a distance apart.

I think a tear fell, I felt it on my cheek,
I could see the scene reeling, as if it was real,
the intensity possessed me, even in my sleep,
when I finally woke up, I realised, it was nothing but a dream...

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Listen to me

Dear Santa,

I know you give presents to kids who stay good,
you come through the chimney, and leave through the hood,
I have been sad today, you should know why,
it wasn't my fault, the day was just dry.

Starting from the morning, I reached my school late,
the teacher gave me punishment, and made me wait,
Maggie took my pencil and she didn't give me back,
Steven took my eraser, to make a tall stack.

And so I lost my pencil, my eraser and more,
I even lost my cycle, the one with a small blue door,
But more than anything, I want you to know,
that Katy put my flower, in the bin with a throw :(.

So I want you, to not give Katy anything this year,
she wants a bear, but you can give it to me this year,
I will keep it safely with me, 
till the time you teach Katy to be good.

I also want a new cycle, some stationery and a hat,
along with a dart gun and some food for the cat,
And would it be too much, if I asked you for 1 more thing,
I don't know if you can fix it, but my mommy lost her voice, and she can't sing.

So please be good, Santa, and drop these things for me,
and you can give the voice to my mommy while she is asleep,
Love you.

Written for Carry On Tuesday, Prompt # 84.