Thursday, February 3, 2011

Pokerface


KING This post is published as an entry for the KING AND QUEEN OF 55F CONTEST – The first ever unique, challenge for the coveted title in micro fiction category. To catch the crowning moments and also be part of future editions and other contests, visit and register at Cafe GingerChai



Hysterical laughter.
Revolving cynicism. 
She took the mute black doll and with every evil poke, she inflicted immeasurable pain on her till she had no more strength to carry on. 
The phone rang.
There was a pause and she exultantly screamed on her victory and ripped the doll asunder. 
She won.
The fiend had won.


It was their 14th anniversary.
He didn’t wish her.
He felt like a perpetrator.
But he had to maintain his equanimity as he had organized a surprise party for her. 
He felt ugly to see her otherwise sanguine face being replaced by sadness.
And he was eagerly waiting for the memorable evening to arrive.


She lay there.
Still. 
Cold. 
Silent. 
Red. 
Deprived of every animation.
He reached home unaware of what awaited him.
He saw her. 
He puked. 
Dolorously, he walked towards her brutally disfigured corpse. 
It was too incredulous a site for him to witness. 
Devastatingly he called her and mumbled, “your daughter-in-law has been killed mom.”


Definitions to help ya :
Exult-show or feel triumphant elation.
Equanimity-calmness; composure.
Sanguine-cheerfully optimistic.
Dolorous-feeling great sorrow or distress.
Incredulous-unwilling or unable to believe something.

P.S. : This was my 1st attempt at writing 55 Fiction :D. Hope you guys like it :D:P.

21 comments:

  1. woaaah!! Nicee.... M-I-L diaries eh? :P... I like this one :D... kept me on the edge of my seat :D

    --
    RoHiT
    dial-a-denial.blogspot.com

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  2. hahaa is it :-j gud now u shud fall off ya seat :P.

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  3. Were you crowned the queen? I guess, you were..

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  4. Oh dear, how evil can a MIL get!

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  5. @ rachit-haha i wish :p but d contest is still goin on :p

    @ purba-evil indeed :D n such MILs do exist in reality:D

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  6. Don't know about the contest, but you sure seems to create a picture in the reader's mind, which can keep people's interest till the very 'end' ! :)

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  7. @ sourav-thtz an amazin compliment :D n thtz exactly wt i strive 2 achieve n hence, "my stories r a journey 4m my imagination 2 urs :D."

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  8. I liked the concept and the story, but the middle 55-er did not seem like a 55-er as it was not a complete little story in itself. The effect/impact was overall good.

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  9. An evil little tale you have churned here.
    All the Best! :)

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  10. @ writerzblock-thnx 4 d appreciation. n bout d middle 55F-if u say so :D. dis ws my 1st attempt n if d middle 1 missed d mark, i'l try n improve 4 d next time ;).

    @ rumya-loll thnx :p

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  11. Chilling tale ..... wonderfully narrated
    Good luck for the contest :)

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  12. brilliant work!!

    best wishes to be crowned!!

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  13. this was a first attempt? wow! That was really really good! Keep them coming and all the best for the con test! :)

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  14. The 3 55-er combined was a really chilling story :-) But I have two points to make

    Giving the definitions of some of the words was not necessary and seemed like you underestimate your readers. It, kind of, marred the whole post a bit.

    The middle 55-er does not reveal a clear ending.

    My best of the three is the last one :-) ATB!

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  15. Nice imagery. All the best for the contest.

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  16. @ dialogue, magiceye n zephyr-thnx a lot :).

    @ tavish-lol yeah :D thnx 4 appreciatin it :D

    @ debosmita-1st of all, thnx 4 likin em :D n 2ndly : i, in no way, underestimate my readers but wt iv noticed is tht most of d times pple keep usin such words tht r not commonly used n not EVERY one understands d mng. 4 dos who r familiar wid d mngs shud simply chose 2 ignore em coz d definitions arnt newayz 4 em :D. d definitions r 4 dos readers who hv difficulty in understandin des words. So i not only want 2 help em 2 understand wt i'm writin, but i also want em 2 njoy it jus like d rest of d readers n dont wanna differentiate. I neva had ne such intentions in mind tht u jus pointed out but if my gesture of help is taken in tht manner, so be it but in d end, dos 2wards whom my effort is targeted, will eventually benefit 4m it n hence m quite happy if even 1 person learns sumthin new wen on my blog ;) :D.

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  17. Just came back to read this, and realised this was one of the 'plots' that I liked the most.

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  18. Hey, I read your reply. I think you are right in your own way :-)

    I must say that nice use of words; it feels good to see someone use those words eloquently in a 55-er :-)

    ATB!

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  19. @ writerzblock-hehe thnx a lot :).

    @ debosmita-thnx 4 understandin :D n thnx again 4 d compliment :D.

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  20. very creative. First visit and definitely not last. Hope to stay connected for more.

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  21. Landed on this via Indiblogger. Amazing piece of work. Haven't read many 55ers before, but I loved your style. Keep on at it!

    Ankur

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