Thursday, April 28, 2011

Random mood of nothingness

Sometimes I feel I'm trapped,
amidst the melancholy happiness, I cannot breathe,
Sometimes I feel I lack,
the ability to feel emotions, I refrain.

Sometimes I judge myself,
only to deduce what am I, who am I,
that I don't feel a thing, I don't care a dime,
I don't want to be around, I don't want to be like this.

I don't understand this world, these people,
I don't understand if I want to be a part of it, or stay aloof,
I don't understand if I like this world, or only want to condemn it,
I don't understand any of it, or maybe I don't want to understand.

Things have changed, more than I can gauge,
happiness no longer feels happy,
'the end' is all I think about,
with dancing stupidity around, I just want to live, is that so hard to do?

I don't want to know my fate,
I want to unravel it on my own,
I don't want the news of my future,
just want an end to it all.

P.S. : Just an outcome of sheer boredom and ill health :|. I have officially gone gaga :-s. Ignore :D.

Also for : Thursday Poets' Rally Week 43 (May 5-May 11,2011)

Thursday, April 7, 2011

The hardest thing...

The following post has featured as a guest post on Blogadda here.

Jane Rubietta once said,” Someone may have stolen your dream when it was young and fresh and you were innocent. Anger is natural. Grief is appropriate. Healing is mandatory. Restoration is possible.” In other words, she summed up an entire journey of a ‘problem’ from scratch till the very end in our lives-if only we would halt and pay attention to the otherwise simple life.

Caught up amidst the action-packed world, how much do we really understand emotions? How much do we realise the value of the things illuminating in our lives? How much to we actually deal with the problem rather than cribbing over it? We tread the path of life without understanding the delicate basics of it only to tighten our already tightly closed fists that are holding onto innumerous relations and feelings without being consciously aware of them. But where do we actually belong in this transitory world? A lifetime’s fun, a lifetime’s efforts, a lifetime’s relations, a lifetime’s pain, all but love, are all nothing but transient in nature. They all die with you in the end. But how intricately and how often do we fathom and embrace these lovely emotions and delicate feelings in life? All we are caught up in is the superficial world and the perennial problems.

Beneath every superficial life, there exists a profound reality exclusive to every person. There exists a superfluous pain that has a permanent address in your heart, your life. It’s excruciating. It chokes you. You curse it. But if that pain wouldn’t exist in your life, you would not be and wouldn’t have been the person that you are today-for good or for bad, pain is the best teacher in life.

When you are hurt, when your heart breaks, when you lose someone-what happens to you? You feel pain, you feel anger, you feel remorse, you feel lost and many a times when the grief is unbearable, it sends you off your guard with a mighty hefty blow. And then what? It’s as if everything around you has coagulated wrapping you into that solid state where you cannot breathe, you feel helpless and the mind depraves you so much sometimes that you feel as if you have nowhere to go from here. But at that moment all you need is time and a breath of fresh air instead of landing yourself in more stupidity by your actions and behavior. Take some time off from the mess but don’t forget where you belong is your home and to those that you belong to are your family and friends.

Give yourself that indispensable time to heal your wounds. Healing will happen. Eventually you will find yourself at peace by walking side by side with the memories of your problem’s journey. Be it a few weeks, a few months or a few years, but you will one day be strong enough and sane enough to come to terms with all the havoc in and around you. And the day you accomplish that feat is the day when you will find a smile on your face at the mere thought of the memories of your past/problems rather than solitary tears in your eyes. Nothing in this world is permanent and your pain and problems won’t be permanent as well. There will be an END. There always is. Until then you just need to keep fighting with all your might to surpass the glitch in your life and not lose the real ‘you’ in the due course.

Just like when you cook or bake anything, for e.g. a raw cookie dough by inducing heat and it is that heat that transforms it into a b-e-a-u-tiful and crisp and yummy cookie, the same way our personalities are born raw, but the bittersweet realities and reality checks of life mould and transform our personalities, our heart, our thoughts and our mind into a superior and ripe person.

It is very difficult to rise from a fall; it is very difficult to laugh after a tear or two; it is very difficult to look at life with a positive manner after a negative blow and it is very difficult to trust in love after a serious break-off: but life doesn’t stop here. Every time you face defeat in any field; all you have to do is rise and accept it as a challenge of life. We get one life to live – live it to the fullest and experience all the different types of emotions in life; because time, tide and life waits for none. All we need to do is change our perspective towards life and treat it with a little more dignity no matter what the downfall does to you. Isn’t that exactly what will make you a stronger person? The solutions are there, right in front of you, in the open, all you need to do is stretch your arm outward and let them help you because amidst the complexities of the world ‘to live a simple life is the most complicated thing to do, but there is always a hope, a strength, a positivity and an end’. Stay strong and happy luck.