Sunday, May 22, 2011

The dusk before the dawn...

With a throbbing ache, and that sweetness of your embrace,
I walk through the moonlit path,
besides the lonesome waters, I ask for an empath,
who gazes into my eyes, with that crispiness and delight,
that renders your trusted soul naked, loved and surprised.

Amidst a thousand faces, I find no familiarity,
only expressions of the unknown, trying to grow on me like moss on stone,
but no matter how hard they try, I cannot blend,
for a stone stands solitarily, even after the moss is washed away.

The raging fires dance, with a tainted macabre sense of style,
with efficacious animosity, they await my onset,
they wish to melt me, to diminish my angsty equanimity,
but they're unaware, that a stone, no matter in what state, is a stone all along.

The woods entreat me to stop, and reverse my footsteps,
they implore me to transform myself inside out,
but the surreptitious phoenix in me, will obey no one,
there is no looking back now, I have to move forward.

And yet, the reflection in the rippled water, is not my own,
the soul within is rented, the stranger stares blankly at me,
the camaraderie has evaporated, the connection is lost,
magic is upset, hostile eyes stare at me.

And so I wait, for the day to come, when the stranger in me
feels familiar, feels like 'my own',
when I can smile at my reflection, and recognize those eyes,
I will feel happiness, I will no longer feel the world of lies.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

It's me birthday :D (almost ending :P)

An ordinary day, an ordinary life,
weird it is to have this ordinary alibi,
the expression is lost, the happiness has swept away,
to think of it today was my happy birthday :p.

And yet, I'm stuck somewhere in-between
the realities and dreams,
the truth and the lies,
faith and logic.

My mind appears distorted,
my wall is resurrecting,
my emotions are caged up,
my faith...will grow stronger.

The ordinary day, is drawing to an end,
never thought I would ever consider it that way,
but it's just a matter of time, before I make myself special again,
because I know there are some people, who will stay supportive, no matter what the end.

P.S. No time, no energy, but still wanted to pen down something @least on my bday, while I still had a few mins left :D:P:D.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I'll stand by you

When stars are falling like dew,
when angels are crying for you,
when oceans are drying up into fumes,
when happiness is flying away from the truth,
when sorrows are spying on you,
i want you to know, I'll be there always strengthening you,
forever and for always that's true...

P.S. : A lil something penned by me ages ago :p. I'm still amazed at what I had churned out back then :D.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Losing grip

I cannot wait for you, and yet I can't move on,
I cannot grieve for you, and yet I can't shrug it off,
I cannot expect you to be back, and yet I want you,
I cannot be a part of your life, and yet I ardently want to.

I want to walk the path with you,
I want to to feel the air with you,
I want to be in your blissful presence,
and yet...the Gothic dream of exultant bliss, I can see, it turn into ashes.

I watch the moment slip away, I am it's only witness,
I was the one who initiated it, I was the 'destroyer',
I am a sadist, even when the victim is me,
I am the wraith, wriggling in her own ashes.

I'm incomprehensible, I'm a whimsical kid,
I'll turn you down, when you least expect me to,
I'll do the opposite of what you tell me to do,
and you, will never decipher who am I, scathed in my own stubbornness.

And now, I stand, still like a mannequin,
sick, like a fleeting wish,
pale, like a homeless cadaver,
detached, like a tenant of my own mind.

I await the bliss, I await your presence,
I await your mark, on my invisible heart since forever,
I await a sailing boat, in the ocean of my thoughts,
I await the beginning of the end of my wait.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Fool's garden

I am nothing but a fool,
I let myself believe that you were too,
for once, I was willing, to take a leap of faith,
but alas! I was destined for failure, I was destined for wrath.

Painful as it was, I felt like never before,
I was unaware, that I could feel it at all,
I felt bad, I felt abandoned, my hope was defeated,
I could feel that feeling suffuse my body, all I desired was a quick healing.

Planting a hope, right inside your mind,
and watch it get washed away, is as good as staying blind,
leap of faith never pays off, I just fooled myself,
lending myself a fool's hope, I've learned my lesson yet again.

Not glad perse, not contented, still, I had asked for a sign,
an answer to a confusion, to release me from the dilemma,
and yet when the answer's staring me right in the face,
an answer I had expected, I'm disappointed.

For once, I thought, things could be different,
I tried to change my perception, I tried real hard,
but trying for something that's never meant to happen,
is like expecting an apple to grow out of a peach tree, it never will grow.

Hazed by the emotions, I so strive to avoid,
I've been fooled by this weakness, my susceptibility has been deployed,
How could I not see, I just let myself believe,
in you, in fate, in life, but I'm not going to grieve.

My wall will be resurrected, it's just a matter of time,
no one will breach it, no prick, no crack will diminish it,
my castles of hope will no longer exist,
my army of emotions will subside eventually.

Giving up on someone, is the worst thing to do,
you gave up on me so soon, I should have seen it coming,
and so I resume my belief, in my primary decision,
my questions no longer need an answer, but I faintly wish if it could all come true.

Also written for : One Shot Wednesday - Week 45

Monday, May 2, 2011

My heart will go on...

This post has been 1 of the Tangy Tuesday Picks dated May 10,2011 on blogadda :

"I'm breaking up with you," he said abruptly,
I smiled with surprise, more so on his tomfoolery,
seated along the promenade, I looked back at the sea,
still not recovered from the silly thing he'd just said.

Gazing into the horizon, he took my hand into his,
resolutely, he uttered the inimical words again,
"I'm breaking up with you," I heard him say,
I thought he was jesting at first, but he proved me wrong.

Despondently, I looked at his cold yet painful face,
as if he meant to say something else than what he'd just said,
his face still colourless, he refrained from looking at me,
I couldn't fathom the reality that I was unable to see.

"We love each other, there has never been a blip,
then where is this thought of breaking up coming from?"
I questioned his repining eyes with an ardent celerity,
but he tested my patience with his laconic stability.

I jerked him, I shook him, I demanded an answer,
how can he do this to me, to us, it was indiscernible,
he remained quiet, but his solitary tear could not,
he finally let courage suffuse himself, and he commenced to talk.

"You deserve someone better than me, I'm not worth you," he said,
I waited a little longer to discern what was coming next,
but there was no next, this was his sole reason,
"And, that is it?" I asked and he nodded in commiseration.

"How can you decide our fate, all by yourself?
Who are you to decide, who's worth me and who's not?
I love you, and you love me,
more than anything I know that you will always be there for me."

"Don't leave me alone, I'll be lost without you,
how did you even get this stupid thought in your head,"
I asked, I said, still astonished at what was happening,
but he stood his ground, for a change he remained unaffected.

Melancholy silence filled our reproaching breaths,
choked souls, with diabolical effects,
I closed my eyes, in the hopes of it all being just a dream,
only to find myself alone, alone with my lamenting scream.

And so he left me, I never heard from him again,
he left the place of origin, he left the city where he belonged,
with questions still unanswered, a labyrinth of emotions ensued,
my words are still unspoken, my love for him still is abstruse.

Also written for Poetry Potluck dated June 5, 2011 - Inspired by the song "My heart will go on" by Celine Dion.