Friday, September 30, 2011

Memories inked in 'ashes'...



Walking through life, flipping the pages deftly,
inked in sorrow and void of respite,
the stained and yellow pages, scream loud to be heard,
the suppressed agony ceases, to try and outlive the days.

Gibberish, esoteric, or legible it is,
scribbles, doodles and emaciated figures,
all lost, all over-analysed, all a part of the past,
numb my invisible heart goes, numb goes my soul.

A pale palm is raised, trying to stop the past,
but the pages keep flipping, relentlessly enroute to the last bit,
stop, please stop! The reality disgusts me,
but I am its creator, I shall be its destructor too.

A haggard me, meak and starvelling,
beholds the treacherous pages, beholds the angst against me,
I pause the galloping pages, I devour 'em one by one,
until the gross book is rendered naked, until I lose my will to succeed.

The pages all mock me, even the tiny bits of shit,
I'm flummoxed at my diabolical behaviour, I drop next to 'em lifelessly,
I'm as flagrant as water, and as frozen as the ice poles,
where did I go wrong? Oh lord, where did I not try?

And yet, I'm most certain, that this is the only way,
and this is the only thing I'm accustomed to,
I've fuhgotten the past, and I can't know the future,
I stand alone, I stand tall, no matter what I need to hold on for long.

I look at those delicate bits, snorting at me to humiliation,
but its me who scoffs at them, for they never understood me,
and never could they comprehend my faith in 'em,
and never could they be the treasure to me, that I was to 'em.

And so the decisive moment stands in front of me,
a bit vague, a bit lost, but I need to grab it now,
and burn the past that's no good to me,
and live with the ashes, that can never talk.

For life goes on, and so does our mind,
and it's time to disavow this old rugged book,
and create some new story, and ascribe life in the white pages,
that soon will turn brown, and soon will be caged again.

But can I really march forth? Can I really let go?
Can I be the one that I was? Even though I don't remember 'her' any more?
I think a new chapter has already begun,
for I don't remember the past, no matter where it is hidden.


2 comments:

  1. Ohooooo this is no fiction,hn girlie :P!!
    Create a new story. Scribble all of that on Stone. Give it the strength to survive the test of time \m/

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  2. loll yeah i will do tht wen m game 2 create new memories n new stories :D

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